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The Cell Phone Rules

Posted by AlienCG on August 31, 2008

This week, I am going back exactly 1 year.  This was around the time that Evil-E first got his cell phone, so I decided to inform him of the rules.  Once again, comments are included.

August 31, 2007
6:49 AM
Rules are Rules

As was mentioned over at Random Crap, Evil-E bought a cell phone for a few good reasons. Unfortunately, he probably isn’t familiar with the rules of cell phone ownership, so I will fill him in as a public service.

1. Remember, there is always the right place and time for a loud, annoying conversation. These places include restaurants, movie theaters, church, funerals, weddings and grocery stores.

2. Talking and driving can be dangerous, make sure you drop 10MPH below the speed limit on the highway in order to stay safe.

3. Always use the most annoying ring tone for your phone, that way people will know you have a cell phone.

4. When having conversations, be sure to walk around and talk in a loud voice so that people will know you are important.

5. No conversation is too personal to talk about in public. Explosive diarrhea? Hemorrhoids? That rash that mysteriously appeared? All of these are acceptable when you own a cell phone.

6. Always make sure you use your cell phone when you’re out on a date, especially a first date. This will tell your date that you are in-demand and a good catch.

I hope that these rules help you out. This has been a public service announcement brought to you by Alien’s Planet. Enjoy.

Evil-E August 31, 2007 7:24 AM
Being it that I am a newbie, green, a tyro, and a sheer beginner with this whole cell technology thing, I will make extra certain to follow these rules to the letter of the law. Thanks for the informative post.
babybull40 August 31, 2007 10:14 AM
You said: 5. No conversation is too personal to talk about in public. Explosive diarrhea? Hemorrhoids? That rash that mysteriously appeared? All of these are acceptable when you own a cell phone.

I laughed my hemmoroids off..lol

churlita August 31, 2007 11:02 AM
MY ringtone for my family is Crazy Train by Ozzy…I I I… How obnoxious is that?

the best private conversation in public i’ve ever heard went like this:

“How you gonna try and tell me you’re lonely when you’re calling me from your wife’s house?”

Now there’s something you want the world to know.

laura b. August 31, 2007 12:54 PM
Excellent rules for cell phone usage. Right now my ringtone is “Blister in the Sun” by Violent Femmes…obnoxious? Yeah, okay….
David in DC September 4, 2007 2:49 PM
Another important rule: The phrase “Can you hear me now?” can never be said too often or too loudly.

My ringtone is the ringing bell of an old black dial-up telephone.

I thought this post contained some of my favorite material.  The cell phone rules are always suitable for a post.  I hope you are all enjoying this look back at Alien’s Planet.


One Response to “The Cell Phone Rules”

  1. babybull40 said

    I can say that those are good rules to follow.. We experienced Number 4 yesterday driving through a Tim Horton’s and the guy was really loud.. I think he was trying to make a point of being obnoxious..pretty funny stuff..Thanks for the stroll down cell phone lane..

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